Navigating Pregnancy Loss: Supporting Bereaved Mothers Through the Postnatal Period

Providing Postnatal Care and Support even Without a Living Child

Pregnancy is a remarkable journey filled with hope, anticipation, and dreams of a beautiful future. However, for some mothers, this journey takes an unexpected turn with the heart-wrenching experience of pregnancy loss. While we often associate the term "postnatal" with joy and celebration, there is another side to it – the reality faced by bereaved mothers who have lost a pregnancy but are still navigating the postnatal period. In this article, we will explore this often-overlooked aspect of motherhood and discuss ways to support these courageous women through their grief, even when they don't have a living child.

The Silent Suffering:

Pregnancy loss is a profound loss that leaves mothers grappling with complex emotions, including grief, guilt, and even anger. For bereaved mothers, the postnatal period can be an incredibly challenging time. They are not only dealing with their physical recovery but also the emotional turmoil of losing a child. This emotional pain can be further compounded by societal expectations, which often assume that the birth of a child marks the end of a pregnancy journey.

What the 'Normal Postpartum' would look & feel like for a womans body:

Postpartum, also known as the postpartum period or the postnatal period, refers to the time after childbirth when a woman's body undergoes various physical and emotional changes as it recovers from pregnancy and childbirth. Here are some common physical and emotional experiences that women may go through during the postpartum period:

1. Physical Changes:

 - Vaginal Discharge (Lochia): After giving birth, women experience a discharge called lochia, which is a combination of blood, mucus, and uterine tissue. It starts off heavy and red, then becomes lighter in color and quantity over a few weeks.

 - Breast Changes: Breasts become engorged with milk as they prepare for breastfeeding. This can lead to soreness, swelling, and tenderness.

 - Uterine Contractions: The uterus contracts to its pre-pregnancy size, causing mild to moderate cramping and discomfort.

 - Perineal Soreness: If there was perineal tearing or an episiotomy during childbirth, there may be pain, swelling, or discomfort in the perineal area.

 - C-section Recovery: For women who have had a cesarean section (C-section), there will be an incision that requires care and may cause discomfort.

2. Emotional Changes:

 - Baby Blues: Many women experience mood swings, irritability, and weepiness in the first few days after childbirth, often referred to as the "baby blues." This is usually temporary and resolves on its own.

 - Postpartum Depression: Some women develop more severe and persistent symptoms of depression after childbirth, known as postpartum depression (PPD). Symptoms may include sadness, loss of interest, changes in appetite, and fatigue.

 - Postpartum Anxiety: Anxiety disorders can also emerge during the postpartum period, leading to excessive worry, panic attacks, and restlessness.

 - Postpartum Psychosis: Although rare, some women may experience postpartum psychosis, which is a severe mental illness characterized by hallucinations, delusions, and erratic behavior. This is a medical emergency.

3. Physical Recovery:

 - Fatigue: The demands of caring for a newborn can lead to extreme fatigue and sleep deprivation.

 - Bodily Changes: Women may experience weight loss or gain, changes in skin and hair, and other physical changes as hormones fluctuate.

 - Incontinence: Some women may experience temporary urinary incontinence due to weakened pelvic floor muscles.

 - Hormonal Shifts: Hormones, including estrogen and progesterone, fluctuate dramatically after childbirth, which can affect mood, energy levels, and physical sensations.

4. Breastfeeding Challenges:

 - Breastfeeding Pain: Initially, breastfeeding can be painful and challenging as both the mother and baby adapt to the process.

 - Engorgement: The breasts may become engorged with milk, leading to discomfort and the risk of blocked milk ducts.

It's important to remember that every woman's experience is unique. Some women may have an easier postpartum recovery, while others may face more challenges. Seeking support from healthcare professionals, friends, and family can be crucial during this time, and it's essential for new mothers to prioritize self-care and seek help if they are experiencing emotional difficulties or physical concerns. Postpartum care and well-being are crucial for both the mother and the newborn's health and development.

A woman navigating pregnancy loss or still birth can still have these changes! BUT not often will they be supported through it.

Supporting Bereaved Mothers, Regardless of a Living Child:

Notice if she has any of the above happening and also:

1. Offer a Listening Ear:

One of the most important ways to support bereaved mothers is to lend a sympathetic and non-judgmental ear. Encourage them to share their feelings and thoughts, and validate their grief. Let them know that their emotions are valid, and there is no timeline for healing, whether or not they have a living child.

2. Provide Emotional Support:

Grief counseling or therapy can be invaluable for mothers who have experienced pregnancy loss, even if they don't have a living child. Encourage them to seek professional help to process their emotions and develop coping strategies. Be there to help them find the right resources and accompany them to appointments if needed.

3. Respect Their Space:

Every individual processes grief differently. Some may want to talk about their loss, while others may need time and space to heal in their own way, regardless of whether they have a living child. Respect their choices and boundaries, and avoid pushing them into situations they may not be ready for.

4. Remember Special Dates:

Anniversaries, due dates, and other significant dates can be especially challenging for bereaved mothers, even if they don't have a living child. A simple gesture like sending a heartfelt message or a small token of remembrance can mean the world to them.

5. Encourage Self-Care:

Self-care is vital during the postnatal period, but it takes on a different meaning for bereaved mothers, regardless of whether they have a living child. Encourage them to prioritize self-care and support them in finding activities that bring comfort and healing, whether it's journaling, meditation, or spending time in nature.

6. Create a Support Network:

Help bereaved mothers connect with others who have experienced pregnancy loss, whether or not they have a living child. Support groups, online communities, or local organizations can provide a safe space for them to share their stories and find solace in the understanding of others who have walked a similar path.

7. Raise Awareness:

Breaking the stigma surrounding pregnancy loss is essential for the well-being of bereaved mothers, irrespective of whether they have a living child. Educate yourself and others about the emotional and physical challenges they face during the postnatal period. Advocate for more inclusive support systems and better access to resources for these mothers.

8. Check on their mental & physical health:

Offer check ins as you would for a mother who has a living child. Let them know you are there for them. They are navigating the grief as well as the emotional rollercoaster that is the postnatal period. The prevalence of PPD, in particular, can range from 10% to 20% of women who have recently given birth, although some studies suggest it may be even higher. In women experiencing loss, their holistic health needs to be a priority too!!

Conclusion:

Supporting bereaved mothers through the postnatal period after pregnancy loss is a compassionate and crucial endeavor, regardless of whether they have a living child. These mothers deserve acknowledgment, empathy, and the space to grieve in their own way. By offering support, we can help them find healing and strength to move forward, honoring the love and connection they still hold for the precious lives they have lost. Let us stand together as a community, breaking the silence and offering our unwavering support to these brave women, irrespective of their motherhood journey.

The Pregnancy loss Practitioner Certification can offer you the depth of support as the healer, or birth worker, so you can understand what a woman is feeling & how to meet her there. 

The Certificate is by Application only, ask me about it! 

OR you can apply HERE

Sharna xx

Founder & CEO The Institute of Healing through Pregnancy Loss

www.sharnasouthan.com